Being a working mom is really demanding and has left me feeling less than at different points in my life. But one hack I figured out is that if my girls feel confident about my feelings toward them, then we are able to manage busier times with ease.
Something that has always given me more confidence as mom is using my love of words to express my feelings directly to them. I think my girls have benefited from reading words written directly to them which encapsulate my feelings. When they were littler I put notes in their lunchbox on the first day of school or on special occasions. But I could never keep up with that on a daily basis. Instead I am talking about writing occasional letters, with less than perfect words strung together, to tell your child that he/she is the greatest thing that ever happened to you. I want my girls to know that they are my biggest blessing, my first priority, and a perfect gift from God. I tell them in letters (or cards) at different times throughout the year.
I believe this has led to a greater relationship between us. They each know, for sure, how I feel about them. When we argue, it is painful. However, I believe we have a very strong desire to repair our hurts quickly and we are careful to mend our hearts with words that heal.
I am a cancer survivor. After all of that mess, I promised myself to not be afraid of emotion. Sometimes we wait until it's too late to say everything we should have said. I think, instead, we can build stronger relationships by opening up; if not with everyone than at least with our kids.
A lot of our letters are private, but I got permission to share one that I wrote to Kaitlyn. We hope this inspires you to consider writing a letter (even a short one) at least a few times a year to your own child.
I am so proud of you for opening up last night. The way you shared your big heart makes me love you even more today than ever before. I am so inspired by how hard you are working. You always amaze me. You have this ability to push yourself to new heights without being told to and you are only 14 years old. To me, that is commendable. At the same time, I want you to know that YOU ARE ENOUGH right here in this moment. Daddy and I are just so thankful that God gave you to us to protect you, to love you, and to care for you. Thank you for letting us be your parents.
I was so happy when you invited me to snuggle in your bed last night. I almost fell asleep! You are still my little girl and cuddling with you reminded me of when you were little. I don't mind that you are growing up because I enjoy watching you become such a dynamic young woman, but having time to snuggle is always amazing.
I thought about you while I was at work today. When things got really busy, I went to the bathroom (haha!) and took a deep breath. I remembered you. I remembered how much I love you. I felt great! Thanks for giving me that gift.
I love you so much!
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Also, I am so excited about the opportunities for coaching, but it's just too much to keep up with right now. Instead, I am pleased to announce that I am starting a once a week Webcast for Women on Sunday nights at 8PM.
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